Wise Words
February 20, 2012
“Activists have to have a spiritual practice in order to help them to suffer less, to nourish the happiness and to handle the suffering so they will be effective in helping the world. With anger and frustration you cannot do much.”
- Thich Nhat Hanh
”We can let the circumstances of our lives harden us so that we become increasingly resentful and afraid, or we can let them soften us and make us kinder and more open to what scares us. We always have this choice.”
- Pema Chodron
I’ve been trying to find compassion for woman-haters here lately. It’s not easy.
Spring
Okie Stories
January 12, 2012
I haven’t been blogging very much lately, but I have been writing and busy in other ways. Recently, This Land Press published a story I wrote about the time me and 2 of my friends killed, dressed, skinned, and butchered a goat. Check it out HERE! It’s a reworking of the story I related here on Progress on the Prairie a while back. Also, a very talented journalist named Abby interviewed my friends and me about the killing experience and our personal views on eating meat. She made a nice audio piece — like a mini This American Life episode — out of our interview, and you can listen to it here.
Here’s to Okie stories!
Spring
A Girl and Her Bike
September 22, 2011
My boyfriend and I broke up. No hard feelings, just hurt hearts. I, usually being prone to depressive fits of crying and anti-social isolation when I experience a loss, decided I was going to try grieving in a very different way this time around. Just today, I realized that I can’t ride a bike and cry at the same time. I don’t know why I never thought of that before. So, when I got home from work, instead of curling up in my pajamas with hot tea and a sad movie (which is exactly what I did yesterday), I hopped on my bike.
Let me tell you about my beautiful bike. It’s older, French, a bit rough and stiff but nonetheless virile and gorgeous. Just look at him:
I had been neglecting my bike because I had gotten lazy and had not bought a bike lock for it. My last bike lock (cheap, combination lock) was stolen along with my last bike, last Autumn sometime. Anyway, I hopped on my bike today and rode to Tom’s, a local bike shop that I swear only hires cute boys, to get a sturdy lock. The worker (indeed, a cute boy) at the counter explained to me that he could pick a combination lock in, like, under 5 minutes. Don’t know if he was trying to impress me, upsell me, or educate me. Whatever, I bought the tough lock. Nobody’s stealing this from me.
Sometimes ladies like me turn to beer or ice cream or other men to get over a break-up. But for me, for this break-up, it’s me and my bike. And this too shall pass.
Spring
P.S. TULSA NEEDS MORE BIKE LANES!
Take Your Girls Camping
September 11, 2011
Take your girls camping. All you need is a backyard. You can borrow mine if you don’t have one. Try teaching them to build a fire. Check for current burn bans. Let them gather wood of different sizes. Get your fingernails dirty, and let your hands get scratched by errant twigs. Let them wad up newspaper or strips of grocery sacks or all those pages of homework (busy work). Teach them useful, exciting skills like how to light a match. The world won’t burn up if you supervise their playing with matches. They might burn a finger. So? Good.
Ignore fear-mongers who tell you it’s dangerous. Their message is tempting. But you and your girls will be happier and stronger if you don’t buy the extra worry.
Roast marshmallows. Or pears. Or corn. Or hot dogs. Pitch a tent. Make a pallet. Watch the stars. Tell the moon she’s beautiful and good night.
Spring
Women Who Kill Goats
November 9, 2010
I spent this weekend in the woods with about 200 women, and 4 friends: Miz H, A, L, and K. And now I want to live in the woods permanently.
Friday night, we set up our tents in the face of a freeze warning. Black night with stars clear and perfectly spaced, like tiny polka-dots on fabric. Built a fire, sat in folding chairs, and talked. About jobs, about personal philosophy, about food, eating meat, about parenting, about boys, about girls. We drank Corona and ate sunflower seeds.
Not one of us slept a whole hour that night, mostly because we were so, so cold. I tried curling up in a fetal ball to conserve heat. I wrapped things around my head and ducked into my sleeping bag. Then my toes got cold, so I covered them with my quilt and a small pile of clothes I couldn’t identify in the dark. Then my butt got cold, so I wrapped a scarf around my pelvic area like a bandage. Dozed off. Then wild dogs barking.
And in the morning, I drank shitty coffee and ate a bite and went to a workshop called Field Dressing. I imagined in my head when I signed up for this class 2 months prior that there would be a dead deer hung up in a warehouse of some sort, and the instructor would have a knife that s/he would pass around and give each of us a turn cutting something. But when I got to the designated meeting spot, there was a trailer full of 10 live, quite cute goats.
So we went to kill them. Me and Miz H and A.
We cut 10 jugular veins and 10 carotid arteries. Then we carried them by their feet to a pile of wood so they could bleed all of their blood out. Miz H and I had one goat. A had a goat all to herself. We cut them open delicately so as not to puncture their stomachs, and then we took their bowels out. We set the heart and liver aside. We cut the hyde off, then quartered it. Leg meat, neck, back, ribs. Sawed off feet and heads. Done.
And now I want to live in the woods in a cabin and raise and kill my own meat and cook it in delicious ways for my meat-eating friends. And for those of my friends who don’t eat meat, I will cook well-spiced and generously seasoned sweet potatoes and greens and corn and rice and beans from my garden behind my cabin. And we shall feast on ceramic plates with silver spoons. And I will be tired and happy.
Does that not sound lovely?
Spring
(The event was sponsored by Women in the Outdoors. To find out about WITO events in your area, go here.)
5 Ways to Do Good in a Snowstorm
January 29, 2010
Many of us in Oklahoma are iced-in this weekend and may be wondering, what is a girl (or boy) to do with all this indoor time? I mean after you’ve exhausted your inclination toward catching snowflakes on your tongue, cleaning (blugh!), snuggling, knitting, watching TV, painting your toenails, and doing 1000s of crunches; you may be longing for that feel-good, change-the-world type of task that can be accomplished while sitting in front of your computer. Well, here ya go:
1. Sign a petition! When fast-food giants like McDonald’s and KFC reject meat because it doesn’t meet their standards, do you know who buys it? The USDA. Then they use it for school lunch programs, and all that reject meat is fed to our school children. Grossed out? Think we can do better? Tell the USDA, “I find it unacceptable and shocking that USDA standards for school lunch meat purchases do not even match that of the fast food industry’s standards.” You can help by signing this petition to tell the USDA to adopt common-sense food safety standards, practices, and testing.
2. Support students who go to college! Whether you’re at the far left or the far right end of the political spectrum, surely we can all agree that education is a good thing. According to the non-partisan Congressional Budget Office, reforming the student loan programs will save tax payers $87 billion over ten years. That money would go to students instead of to banks as subsidies. Tell your Representatives to choose Students Over Banks!
3. Get caught up on the Indian mascot debate! The latest fiasco is set in nearby Stillwell, Oklahoma.
4. Meditate! Do something good for yourself, dangit! Be kind and patient with yourself. Just try to sit and pay attention to nothing but your breath for 2 whole minutes. It’s really not that easy, especially for me because I’m a bouncy, bouncy, emotional, and fidgety type. But I promise it’s not that weird, and you won’t hallucinate divine beings, as my meditation teacher/ Episcopal nun friend Sister Ellie has assured me.
5. Try cooking and eating VEGETARIAN! Okay, this one requires you to get off your ass, but eating is pretty important. If you are like me and you just can’t commit to a life without a delicious beef burger every now-and-then, it’s okay! Still, eating vegetarian or vegan (if you are really hard-core) is good for our health, better for our beautiful Earth, and a good way to put meaningful thought into a sometimes mundane task. Also, it can be fun and exciting to try new vegetarian recipes like the ones at Meatless Monday.
It seems like this list should be longer, but I’m getting hungry
Any other ideas?
Yours in attempting do-goodery,
Spring
Kern Watch 2010: HB 2279 would amend OK divorce law, making divorce more difficult to obtain
January 7, 2010
hi, everyone. here’s your sally kern update for the new year! now she’s targeting divorce law, trying to save/protect traditional marriage by making divorces harder to obtain. the worst parts are that she’s doing this in the name of children’s rights (eyeroll) and that she is continuing her obsession with oppressing people who live what she’d call “alternative lifestyles,” i.e., anyone who is not heterosexual and married. from OKhouse.gov:
OKLAHOMA CITY (January 7, 2010) – Working to reduce Oklahoma’s high divorce rate, state Rep. Sally Kern has filed legislation to refine state law to encourage married couples with children to work through their problems.
“The destruction of the family is the root cause of many problems in our society,” said Kern, R-Oklahoma City. “If we can lower our divorce rate, our quality of life will improve and we will also reduce the need for many state services in this time of budget shortfall, freeing up money to go to core services such as schools and roads.”
House Bill 2279, by Kern, would amend Oklahoma’s divorce law. The bill would continue to allow divorce for abandonment, adultery, cruelty and similar causes, but would make it more difficult to obtain a divorce on the grounds of “incompatibility” if a couple has been married for 10 years or more, has children, and either the husband or wife objects to the divorce.
Under the bill, couples with children could obtain a divorce when both parties agree to it, just as they can under current law.
“No one wants to force a battered spouse to stay in a marriage, but that situation is seldom the cause of our high divorce rate,” Kern said. “Instead, we often see a husband or wife seek divorce because of so-called ‘incompatibility’ simply because they don’t want to try and address the issues that have caused their marital problems.”
In four of five divorces, one spouse does not want the divorce, according to Mike McManus, president and co-founder of Marriage Savers, a group dedicated to driving down the nation’s divorce rate and preserving families.
Kern said by making it harder for one spouse to unilaterally obtain a divorce (outside of abuse, abandonment or similar circumstances), the state would create an incentive for reconciliation.
“This legislation would not prohibit divorce, but it would slow down the process when children are involved and provide an incentive for couples to sit down and talk about their problems,” Kern said. “That process may not always lead to reconciliation, but it is important that both spouses are involved in the decision. Our current law favors only the spouse seeking divorce.”
Kern noted there is broad support for slowing down the divorce process when children are involved. A TIME/CNN poll found that 61 percent of adults favor making divorce more difficult to obtain when a couple has young children.
“Regrettably, children are the innocent victims of divorce,” Kern said.
She also noted divorce also has financial consequences for state government.
A recent study, “The Taxpayer Costs of Divorce and Unwed Childbearing” conservatively estimates divorce costs state government up to $430 million annually (largely through public assistance programs). Research also indicates children from broken homes are more likely to be incarcerated, live in poverty and are more susceptible to substance abuse and mental health disorders.
“We cannot address our current budget shortfall if we don’t also address the root cause of many state expenditures,” Kern said. “As my House colleague Mark McCullough has argued, if we could reduce divorce in Oklahoma we would also reduce our prison population and welfare rolls while benefiting families and children. That’s a goal worth pursing.”
kern’s bill is an unfunny, lame version of California’s Initiative to ban divorce. please feel free to write her on her comments page or call her at (405) 557-7348 and tell her you disapprove. you may also reach her at sallykern@okhouse.gov. perhaps you could recommend other, more pressing issues that she could expend her energies on, such as, oh i don’t know, the economy, infrastructure, teaching wages, healthcare access improvement, the prison system, etc., etc., etc.
peace,
beamish
Unhappy Holidays
December 2, 2009
I know the Holiday Season is supposed to be joyful and merry. But, holidays always brings up mixed emotions for me. I REALLY love the extra time off work. I love that most people seem to be more happy and helpful. I love the hearty food. I love that you’re supposed to think about your loved ones a little extra.
But this is where my feelings start to get mixed up. I start thinking about family that I have lost instead of family that I still have. Just when I think I’m finished grieving or I don’t need to cry about a certain loss anymore (whether that loss be death, dysfunctional relationships, disease, etc.), the Holidays come and somehow remind me that life is not all sweet. It’s really, truly bitter-sweet.
And, apparently, I’m not the only one. I came across this article about holiday depression. And it made me feel less lonely and crazy. Also, Tim Burton’s Christmas-ish drawings make me feel better. Then again, the fact that Burton’s drawings make me feel better makes me feel worse. Ho hum:
Sometimes I just want to run away to a secluded, monastic, place of my own up on a giant mountain until after the New Year and let all the Whos down in Whoville…
Spring
Funny girls cure depression!
November 8, 2009
Have you ever heard that girls just aren’t funny? I sure have. In fact, supposedly respectable magazines devote entire articles to the subject; uh-hem, Vanity Fair. In his 2007 article, ”Why Women Aren’t Funny,” author Christopher Hitchens puts forth his thesis:
My argument doesn’t say that there are no decent women comedians. There are more terrible female comedians than there are terrible male comedians, but there are some impressive ladies out there. Most of them, though, when you come to review the situation, are hefty or dykey or Jewish, or some combo of the three.
When I’m really, really depressed about lame writers, or my broken plumbing, or the state of the economy, or racist judges, or the amount of money our politicians spend on funding dumb wars, I often run to the loving arms of satire. It makes me feel happy to make fun of stuff that I don’t like. Call me juvenile; I don’t care. Here’s a few of the folks I go to when I need some quick, surefire laughter.
If you like to giggle, you will be very pleased to meet the comic duo Garfunkel & Oates. Singing, songwriting, stand-up, acting-these gals do it all! (Thanks to Courtney for introducing me to these ladies.)
And here’s another one of Garfunkel & Oates’ great videos called Pregnant Women Are Smug
Then, there’s good ole Sarah Haskins, who our beloved Beamish pines over every now and again.
And if you haven’t met Nellie McKay, now’s your chance:
Who are some of your favorite funny girls?
Spring
entering the healthcare reform debate…
August 13, 2009
hi, all,
just wanted to let you know that tomorrow morning, i’ll be going to visit senator inhofe with a small group of people here in tulsa. it’s late notice, but here is the official invite that i got from a friend on facebook:
“Join me for civil conversation at Sen. Inhofe’s office Friday at 9am to lobby for Health Care Reform. 1924 South Utica Avenue, Suite 530, Tulsa OK.”
i’ve been spending time this week trying to wrap my mind around what exactly is going on and why i should or shouldn’t support president obama’s and congress’s efforts to work out a reform plan. i just read a piece on huffingtonpost.com about the ties between insane town hall protesters and anti-civil rights protesters in the late 60s. this made me think about how race plays–not into healthcare (which i’m also now considering) but–into how people judge president obama’s actions. i do not think that the outcry against healthcare reform would be so insane (or 100% fueled by white people) if the president were a white man. i DO think that the outcry would be just as insane (or moreso) if a woman were president. imagine if hillary were in office… man, oh man…
anyway, back to healthcare itself (not that satellite issues are not as important). here’s a sampling of a few other pieces that have i’ve encountered in the past few days:
“Does Canada’s Healthcare System Need Fixing?” from NPR.
“A Primer on the Details of Healthcare Reform“ from The New York Times.
“Health Insurance Reform Reality Check” from whitehouse.gov.
“Getting Health Care Right” by Sen. Jim Inhofe.
“Bill Moyers Journal with Wendell Potter” from pbs.org.
i feel a little lacking in my knowledge about what is really being proposed and what i’d like to see done. i think tomorrow might help make things a little more real for me. i’ll be back with a report about what happened and what i learned. i’m trying to make this more about healthcare than about senator inhofe… not sure what expectations to have…
peace,
beamish







