Wise Words
February 20, 2012
“Activists have to have a spiritual practice in order to help them to suffer less, to nourish the happiness and to handle the suffering so they will be effective in helping the world. With anger and frustration you cannot do much.”
- Thich Nhat Hanh
”We can let the circumstances of our lives harden us so that we become increasingly resentful and afraid, or we can let them soften us and make us kinder and more open to what scares us. We always have this choice.”
- Pema Chodron
I’ve been trying to find compassion for woman-haters here lately. It’s not easy.
Spring
Love Letters
December 1, 2011
Last year in December, I tried to do one good deed a day in an effort to get over my holiday grumpiness. Honestly, it didn’t work. I was withering on the inside. I had a pretty insufferable episode of depression and anxiety that lasted about 3 weeks. Long story short, after taking better care of myself, I’m waaaaaay better now! Without getting overly gushy, I have felt more love this year from friends and family than I have probably ever felt. Today is no different.
I got a note in the mail this afternoon from a sweet, sweet, strong friend. She wrote to me, basically, to tell me that she loves me. Gosh. It brought me to tears. And she inspired me to write more love letters. So, here’s one for her.
Dear K,
How much healing has taken place in your presence, because of your presence? On your old porch and at your present comfortable country home, you have loved like a father penguin. Through you, I found my way to a meditation teacher who isn’t a hokey bullshitter but a hard worker committed to doing right. Fuck yeah.
It makes sense that we’ve grown closer over the course of this year. This year, I was searching the universe for solid and sincere and open people. When I was younger, I valued fun and likability and friendliness above all else. I, being a bit of a pagan hedonist, still worship pleasure. Don’t get me wrong. But now I appreciate honesty and perseverance and calm just as much. You, my love, are a woman who represents an eagle-eyed mixture of fantasy and honesty and strength that is rare.
It’s heartbreaking, at times, to watch you grieve and work to heal. It’s strange to watch you hurt. I know you are so used to being the tough one. The invincible. The fiercest. The thing is, you still are.
I love you,
Spring
The Beginning of My Silk Scarf Collection
November 2, 2011
Every year I am excited, when the Oklahoma weather gets chilly as it is inclined to do in November, to break out my scarves. A scarf is a perfectly practical accessory. But what about silk scarves, I often wonder? They don’t really add warmth. Or do they? And some of them look like they may reek of mothballs. But some of them are absolutely beautiful. And they are…here it comes…so silky. Of all the estate sales and garage sales and thrift stores I’ve rummaged in my lifetime, I never pass by the overflowing and often overlooked bin of silk scarves without touching. And that is exactly what I did today at an estate sale in midtown Tulsa. Brick mansion in Maple Ridge. Everything 65% off. Gray silk Liberty of London scarf with colorful fishing lures on it. Liberty of London! Fishing lures! It was meant for me; tell me it wasn’t:
And so I begin my silk scarf collection. But how does one wear a silk scarf without looking prissy or stuffy? I want to be a smart-looking lady with a fine and diverse collection of scarves for my children and my friends’ children and our children’s children to see and touch. But I don’t want to look like a snob or Fred from Scooby Doo. I think I will keep only the most wonderful scarves, and I will keep them all smelling nice, like the Medici Cocoa natural, artisan-crafted perfume that my friend Tara makes in her very own home. And then when I die, my scarves will tell people about my interests and my character. People shopping the selling of my estate will say: “Oh! A silk scarf with fishing lures! My, what an odd mix of rural and intellect this saucy lady must have possessed!” They will. Then they’ll see this picture I tried to take of myself wearing my scarf:
And they’ll giggle. But one of the people, probably a bookish girl who grew up on acreage, will see the scarf and she will not be able to carry on living without buying it for 65% off 5 dollars. And she’ll love it and consider it the beginning of her silk scarf collection, just like me. And just like me, she’ll figure out a way to work it into her wardrobe. And she’ll live happily ever after.
She will. Just like me.
Spring
Quote for Today
September 22, 2011
“Change starts with self, and relationships that we have with those around us must always be the primary site for social change.”
The above is some beauty from Patricia Hill Collins’ essay “Toward a New Vision: Race, Class, and Gender as Categories of Analysis and Connection.”
Love!
Take Your Girls Camping
September 11, 2011
Take your girls camping. All you need is a backyard. You can borrow mine if you don’t have one. Try teaching them to build a fire. Check for current burn bans. Let them gather wood of different sizes. Get your fingernails dirty, and let your hands get scratched by errant twigs. Let them wad up newspaper or strips of grocery sacks or all those pages of homework (busy work). Teach them useful, exciting skills like how to light a match. The world won’t burn up if you supervise their playing with matches. They might burn a finger. So? Good.
Ignore fear-mongers who tell you it’s dangerous. Their message is tempting. But you and your girls will be happier and stronger if you don’t buy the extra worry.
Roast marshmallows. Or pears. Or corn. Or hot dogs. Pitch a tent. Make a pallet. Watch the stars. Tell the moon she’s beautiful and good night.
Spring
Squausage Soup
September 6, 2011
The 50 degree nights and 80 degree days we’ve been having here in Tulsa inspired the cook in me. And, yes, I did invent a soup. Guess what’s in it? If you said SQUASH and SAUSAGE, you’re not as good at word play as you think you are. ‘Cuz, SURRRPRISE, it’s also got SAGE in it! At first, I was going to call it “Squausage Stew” but then I learned that stew is much thicker than soup. Soup = brothy. Stew = gravy-ish. Whatdyaknow?
But doesn’t it look delicious with the bubbles of pork fat floating on top?!
I used sausage that I bought at the Cherry Street Farmer’s Market from the lovely folks at Greenwood Farms (which is, sadly, downsizing considerably after this summer). The squash is from my boyfriend’s family, and the sage is from my garden. I browned all of these ingredients with a bit of olive oil to the point where the meat and squash were nearly blackened on one side. Then added the water. Also, I added plenty of mushrooms, onions, tomatoes, cayenne, fresh basil and hatch chilies. And salt and pepper – it almost goes without saying.
Don’t forget the fresh sage on the top for pretties!
Happy end of summer,
Spring
Stuff I Learned From My Dad
June 19, 2011
MY dad has been dead 11 years now; it’ll be 12 in August. On this Father’s Day, I am thinking about how much important information and the many life lessons I learned from him over 19 years.
The human body is amazing and wonderous and gross. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. You only have one. Honor it.
Take care of your own needs. Only you can.
Be nice to people and animals.
There’s no shame in telling a bad joke. Over and over.
Don’t feel bad if you want to leave church early so you don’t have to talk to everyone. You are not there for them.
In fact, you don’t even need to go to church. You can talk to God anytime. God might be a metaphor. Consider all the possibilities.
Plant marigolds.
Steak is a luxury. Eat your vegetables.
Make sure there’s no scorpion in your boots before you put them on.
Work all day. Play all day. Don’t separate the two.
Don’t talk back to your mother.
Hang around people you admire.
Mowing the lawn is meditative. Look forward to it.
Laugh, laugh, laugh.
Wash your hands often.
Everything in moderation.
Learn forever. Stay curious.
Cowboy boots and hats are bigger than trends.
Even though you don’t need him to, a guy should open the restaurant door for you.
Learn how to drive on an old farm truck with a temperamental stick shift.
Always wear a helmet.
It’s okay to cry.
Apologize if you hurt someone. No matter how inconvenient.
If you get a fish hook stuck in your skin, it’s made to not come out.
If life gets overwhelming, take a walk or go for a drive or look at the stars or play with your dog or polish your boots. Don’t take your own stress out on the people you love.
Do your best.
I love you.
Pretty New Jewelry!
May 1, 2011
I’m really not much of a jewelry person, but lately I’ve been experimenting with finding jewelry that suits me. Most of the time when I try to wear jewelry, I feel like I just look like a little girl playing in her mommy’s costume jewelry. But I have two new favorite pieces of jewelry that I just recently acquired, and I think they both have just the right amounts of pretty and bad-ass. See:
I got the new earrings from the boy I’m dating (cue awe). They were made by a lovely artist named Rachel who lives here in Tulsa. And I think they are beeeeeeeeeeeeeautiful! That color green?! And the long, straight plume over the smaller feather?! Oh my goodness, I want to kiss them. I got the new bracelet, thanks to my friend Amanda. I love the gold and toughness, and I wear it almost every day now. Also, yes I do sit so contemplative in my kitchen all the time ♥
Xoxoxo,
Spring
Apple Dandelion Fritters!
April 10, 2011
Don’t kill your dandelions, fry them! If you have sprayed chemicals all over your dandelions because you were brainwashed into thinking they are bad, bad weeds then you will have to miss out on these delicious Springtime delicacies. Ha! However, if your yard is wild and pollutant-free and ugly like mine, then you are in luck!
♥
♥
Ingredients:
diced apples, 1 handful
dandelions, 1 handful freshly foraged
egg, 1
flour, 1 cup
milk, 1/2 cup
applesauce, 1/2 cup
cinnamon, 1 dash
oil for frying
syrup or honey for dipping
powdered sugar for sprinkling
Step 1: Send kid to pick the flower parts off the dandelions while you cut up apples and measure out ingredients. Pull the yellow petals out of the rest of the green part of the flower for this recipe. The green can be kinda bitter, which I think is great for more savory recipes, but not so much for this sweeter one.
Step 2: Mix everything together. Batter should be thicker than pancake batter, but not as thick as biscuit dough. Ya hear me? Then drop it by the spoonful into hot oil. I use a medium-low heat.
Step 3: Fry for 1 to 2 minutes on each side, until beautiful and golden.
Step 4: Sprinkle with powdered sugar, dip in syrup or drizzle with honey.
Step 5: Now EAT!
Num num,
Spring
The Feminist Recovery Work of Jack White
January 21, 2011
Maybe you saw Wanda Jackon perform with Jack White on The Late Show with David Letterman last night. If not, take a look-see HERE. It was AMAZIIIING! Wanda Jackson is a lady that doesn’t get near enough credit for her contributions to rock ‘n roll and music in general, so it’s great to see her getting a new wave of attention. The performance on Letterman made me wonder about Jack White’s role in her new album, The Party Ain’t Over, due out this month, but more than that, I though about his role in Loretta Lynn’s 2004 album Van Lear Rose. They won a Grammy for that one, remember? I started thinking about how he worked to bring these two legendary American ladies back to the forefront of our collective American musical mind. And his efforts reminded me of the feminist recovery work done by scholars in the 1970s and 1980s, unearthing under-appreciated treasures.
Wanda Jackson
Loretta Lynn
And I think he’s pretty cool, and I admire his work. As a music lover and as a woman lover and as a feminist. That’s all I have to say about that. Oh, and wouldn’t it be awesome if Jack White made a record with Dolly Parton next to complete the trifecta of amazing music vaginas (the rumor mill says it’s a possibility!!!)?
Dolly Parton
A girl can dream,
Spring
