progress on the prairie

Last year in December, I tried to do one good deed a day in an effort to get over my holiday grumpiness. Honestly, it didn’t work. I was withering on the inside. I had a pretty insufferable episode of depression and anxiety that lasted about 3 weeks. Long story short, after taking better care of myself, I’m waaaaaay better now! Without getting overly gushy, I have felt more love this year from friends and family than I have probably ever felt. Today is no different.

I got a note in the mail this afternoon from a sweet, sweet, strong friend. She wrote to me, basically, to tell me that she loves me. Gosh. It brought me to tears. And she inspired me to write more love letters. So, here’s one for her.

Dear K,

How much healing has taken place in your presence, because of your presence? On your old porch and at your present comfortable country home, you have loved like a father penguin. Through you, I found my way to a meditation teacher who isn’t a hokey bullshitter but a hard worker committed to doing right. Fuck yeah.

It makes sense that we’ve grown closer over the course of this year. This year, I was searching the universe for solid and sincere and open people. When I was younger, I valued fun and likability and friendliness above all else. I, being a bit of a pagan hedonist, still worship pleasure. Don’t get me wrong. But now I appreciate honesty and perseverance and calm just as much. You, my love, are a woman who represents an eagle-eyed mixture of fantasy and honesty and strength that is rare.

It’s heartbreaking, at times, to watch you grieve and work to heal. It’s strange to watch you hurt. I know you are so used to being the tough one. The invincible. The fiercest. The thing is, you still are.

I love you,

Spring