Mother’s Day Pep-Talk
May 13, 2012
Oh, Mama. Today I’ve cried, like, 47 times today about different stuff related to Mother’s Day. #1 My mom lives far away from me now, so I can’t take a weekend trip to see her except maybe a couple of times a year. #2 My kid isn’t with me; one of the consequences of divorce is that the dad’s weekend doesn’t always correspond to the times I really want to have my kid around me. #3 Thinking about my friends who have lost their moms is heart-breaking. And on and on and on.
So, then I just had to do something to get on with the day and honor the nurturing and creativity and love that I witness in the moms around me before I ended up eating a whole tub of ice cream pre-noon. I turn to gardening, music, and activism in my times of sorrow and need. And lo! I ran across this image while listening to my new Bessie Smith (one of my mom’s favorites) record:
Sweet, right? Especially in the wake of mainstream Time Magazine’s recent discovery of the Great Mommy Debate, I find it important to reiterate that, at least for me, activism and nurturing both come from a place of love. Both are about making some thing, place, life, or idea as strong as possible. Both are about investing time and energy into fixing what may have been broken. This applies to activism in local politics as well as to foster parenting, to caring for your own dog as well as volunteering with homeless dogs. Neither nurturing or activism are necessarily natural, nor are they easy or profitable. But we do them anyway.
Change is inevitable. Whether the change from your labor is lightning fast, like your baby going into Junior High, or slow like Oklahoma’s enfranchisement of women; change is a sure thing. Whether your mom lives next door to you or in a high-rise retirement center in Dallas, Texas, she thinks about you every day. Whether your child made you breakfast in bed this morning or it’s her weekend with her father, your mothering doesn’t stop. Head up. If your mom isn’t here, I’m sorry. I’m thinking about you today. Know that she left you all of her strength.
So, this is a pep-talk. Continue on with poise and confidence and a kick-ass spirit, folks. You are probably loved and appreciated, and even if you aren’t, the GoodLord knows you’re not alone.
Poem In Your Pocket Day
April 26, 2012
For Poem In Your Pocket Day, I want to share this from Emily Dickinson:
Much Madness is divinest Sense –
To a Discerning Eye–
Much Sense — the starkest Madness –
‘Tis the Majority
In this, as All, prevail –
Assent — and you are sane –
Demur – you’re straightway dangerous –
And handled with a Chain –
c. 1862
To offer one interpretive lens through which to read this poem, history reminds us that the American institution of chattel slavery wasn’t abolished until 1865. Dickinson, living in Massachusetts, was educated and wrote her poems within the political and social boundaries of the North, where slavery was weakly frowned upon. In 1861, a few Southern states formed the Confederate States of America, and the very next year – which was also the year Dickinson penned the above poem (1862) - the Union made the abolition of slavery an explicit goal in order to defeat the CSA and prevent secession. Let’s not forget, though, that the North’s increasingly industrial economy relied heavily on the rich natural resources and exploitative labor practices of the South. So, the “Chain” here is not only an image of how social pressure has a corrective influence on individual non-conformity, but it’s also a weighty image of every American’s implicit connection to the system of Southern slavery.
At any rate, Dickinson was rarely one to blatantly wax poetic on national politics. She did, however, often openly comment on social politics, including gender expectations and religious dogma. So, look through those lenses if you want, too. In genius yet subtle Dickinson style, this short poem offers plenty of room for one’s own interpretation.
Assign meaning with a discerning Eye, and remember that meaning isn’t precise or permanent.
Oh, poetry!
Thought? Comments? Do you have an interpretation you want to share? Or a poem in your own pocket?
Friday Not-so-fun Fact
April 12, 2012
In Oklahoma, if you assault and kill someone and it’s a first conviction of the state’s hate crimes law, it’s a misdemeanor and carries up to a year in jail, the exact same penalty as unlawful possession of marijuana.
Crazy, eh? I don’t know what’s more nonsensical, the fact that you can plan out and murder someone, even multiple people, because of your perception of the color of their skin, their religion, or their disability and it’s considered a lesser crime, a not-minor but yet not-quite-major crime. Or the fact that carrying around some weeds is considered just as criminal. But it gets even crazier! ‘Cuz if you hatefully mess with any religious inanimate object, like a holy chair or a picture on a wall, or maybe you spray paint the side of a church, you’re facing a felony.
I’m not a lawyer, but for piss sake. File this under: learning can be infuriating.
Sad Easter in Tulsa
April 8, 2012
With the news this morning that 2 men have been arrested as suspects in the shootings of 5 pedestrians in Tulsa, I started thinking about the 3 people that died. My thoughts are with the family and friends of Dannaer Fields, 49, Bobby Clark, 54, and William Allen, 31. I want to know more about these Tulsans. I am a bit grossed out and depressed that the focus of the news so quickly turns to the suspects’ identity performance on Facebook.
I want to know about Ms. Fields, Mr. Clark, and Mr. Allen. When I read about Bobby Clark, 54, I couldn’t help but get hung up on that age; my dad was 54 when he died unexpectedly. I wondered if Mr. Clark had a daughter. If he did, I can not even come close to imagining the anger she feels at her father being murdered. An accident, I can imagine, but not a murder that, as facts come forth about the state of mind of the suspects, appears to be motivated by crazed, bigoted hatred. I wondered what Mr. Clark did for a living. I wondered how his family and friends found out about his death. Did they gather together no matter the hour of night, like my own family and friends did when my father died?
I don’t see this act of violence, as so many do, as a freak occurrence in “north Tulsa” or “North Tulsa.” This happened in Tulsa, a couple of miles away from where I will take my daughter to Carver Middle School every day for the next 3 years starting in August. A couple of blocks away from one of the largest, most quality daycare centers in town. A beautiful section of Tulsa where trees haven’t entirely been mowed down to put up megasuper highways or a mall or a Hooters next to a Twin Peaks next to a coffee shop that only hires women willing to work in bikinis. Neighborhoods and large yards with personal gardens.
I haven’t learned enough about the victims, but I will keep trying. I did find this bit of personal history about Ms. Fields:
Cathy Privette, one of Fields’ neighbors, said the victim was deeply religious. “I would give her rides to church,” Privette, 54, said.
She added that Fields, who lived alone, was always dressed as if she was headed to Sunday Mass.
I’m sure her church is grieving deeply. I’m sure the pastor is doing the difficult emotional work of comforting everyone hurt by this violence on this Easter Sunday. Will every church in Tulsa be comforting our citizens on this Easter Sunday? I hope so.
Quick Question: Am I Selling Out?
April 7, 2012
I am writing an essay loosely about the history of women in Oklahoma and how Oklahoma became the “2nd Worst Place for Women” in the country. And I’ve noticed something curious. I am consciously avoiding the word “feminist” (and “feminism” and “anti-feminist” and all other forms). As a feminist, this worries me. How does a feminist write about feminism without using the words that are most efficient in describing her history and environment? And, more importantly, WHY am I doing this? Here are some of the reasons. #1: I worry that the average reader will be immediately turned off by the term. That’s the only reason, actually. I mean, I write freely for readers who identify as feminist but for those who don’t, I worry that all they’ve ever heard about feminists is negative so I censor myself. I don’t assume the average reader is entirely uninformed, just that they’ll be slightly turned-off. And I want to reach them with my writing, not turn them away. It’s about considering my audience, and I’m actually generally okay with manipulating my writerly voice in this way.
So my original quick question: “Am I selling out?” I know is just a personal thing that only I can work through, but how about this: What are a feminist’s responsibilities to the average non-feminist? More broadly: What are a social justice advocate’s responsibilities to the average non- social justice advocate? Even more broadly: What are a writer’s responsibilities to her or his readers?
Curious what all you smart folks have to say,
Spring
WAIT…
April 6, 2012
There’s a The Hunger Games‘ Barbie?!?!?!?! And these things:
The doll follows other Hunger Games merchandise, including a cookbook which reveals how to prepare tasty meals of fried squirrel, raccoon and tree rat, on to the web. There is even a “Train Like a Tribute” workout class inspired by the events of the film. “Training like a tribute is a cross between combat training and cross-fit,” said Brent Bishop, owner of Think Fitness Studios in Toronto, which is launching its Hunger Games programme on 4 April. “
CAPITALISM IS SOOOOO WEIRD. (See what I did there?)
Also, genius daughter story. So, my 11-year-old and I were in one of the Post Offices yesterday applying for her passport. It was all very officialish and stressful. As we’re waiting in line, she notices the military draft registration cards. They say: “MEN, AGES 18-25, DO THE RIGHT THING.” Or something like that, and they’re all colorful and fun-looking. She asks what they’re for and why they’re only for men. I tell her something about the Draft and discrimination and how the ERA was never ratified by enough states. Then she gets quiet, and we turn in the paperwork for her passport, write the check to the Feds, and talk with the postal worker who is extremely nice and patient. Then daughter says: “Ya know? That’s kinda like The Hunger Games.”
Me: Huh?
Daughter: Registering a certain age of people for a war, in a scary time of life. I mean, 18?! (saddest, most confused look ever.)
Me: Hmmm, yeah, that’s an interesting connection. (mind blown. hug.)
STOP the Oklahoma Personhood Bill, Okies!
March 28, 2012
Oklahomans, here’s who you need to call today about SB-1433 (Personhood Bill) and SB-1274 (Government Intrusion Into Uteri Bill):
Floor Leader DeWitt (405) 557-7332
Speaker Steele (405) 557-7345
Please tell them you are OPPOSED to these bills, and you can ask them to please prevent SB-1433 from coming for a floor vote.
Quinn, who works for Sp. Steele, is super sweet and helpful. She is personally seeing to it that all the messages get delivered to the Speaker. Thanks, Quinn. And thanks, fellow citizens! ♥
Unhealthy Legislation Comes Sweeping Down the Plains
March 23, 2012
We supporters of women’s health and freedom have a very important date coming up here in Oklahoma.
On this upcoming Tuesday, MARCH 27, the House Public Health Committee will be hearing a couple of nasty bills aimed at limiting the freedom of adult women:
1. SB1433 - Creating the Personhood Act, which gives all rights of citizenship to a blastocyst.
2. SB1274 – Heartbeat Informed Consent Act, which makes it mandatory for a doctor to ask a woman seeking an abortion if she would like to hear a “heartbeat” before proceeding with the procedure.
This may be the last chance for the public (that’s us!) to defeat this bill. Just as a reminder, SB 1433 declares a fertilized egg (a microscopic blastocyst) a person, AND SO threatens legal access to and use of contraceptives, IVF treatment, and on and on. We can stop this in committee! If you make only one call and write only one email, please let it be to the chair asking that these bills simply not be considered. They aren’t worth the time. The chair’s info:
Representative John Enns (R)
john.enns@okhouse.gov
(405) 557-7321
Here’s the email addresses of all the committee members. It would be awesome if we could all email them all. Just create one email, copy and paste. NBD (that’s hip, young, cool lingo for No Big Deal).
ed.cannaday@okhouse.gov
weshilliard@okhouse.gov
jadine.nollan@okhouse.gov
sean.roberts@okhouse.gov
corey.holland@okhouse.gov
ronpeters@okhouse.gov
colby.schwartz@okhouse.gov
randy.grau@okhouse.gov
jeanniemcdaniel@okhouse.gov
mike.ritze@okhouse.gov
A body has only one owner.
Shit My Daughter Says
March 15, 2012
“I vowed a while back to not care what anyone thinks of me. Also, to never curtsey. I bow instead.”
Rally Against The Personhood Amendment
February 28, 2012
Today was a good day to protest the “Personhood Amendment.” I went to the Capitol building in OKC with my daughter and friends Daniel, Amanda, Sara, and Amelia. Here’s Daniel and his super sweet sign:
Daniel of Tulsa.
I was also happy to see people of various religious affiliations – and none – all on the same page.
Ashley Combs of Midwest City, Baptist. Micala Wood of Mustang, Lutheran.
Sarah of Choctaw.
Eva from Tulsa. Christian. Or, as she put it, "super churchy."
Michael Ashby of Norman. Professor.
LaDonna Hunt of OKC. Secretary of OK County Democrats. Unitarian.
Jessica and Anthony of Mustang.
And I want to be her when I grow up:
Nancy Zorn of Warr Acres. Protestant.
Proud to be an Okie,
Spring
